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Episode 2: Pizza Bread Gone Wrong

...it was like a gigantic mushroom of fire that came at me.

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Episode 2: Pizza Bread Gone Wrong

Welcome everyone back to another episode from Sound Practice Language Learning. Today I’ve got a story to tell you from when I was ten years old. This is a… this story just makes me laugh every time…

It’s about a time when my cousin Shawn and I got hurt. So, we were both alone at the time. I was ten years old so was he, and it was summer time and we had to go to the hospital at the end of this story. But don’t worry… we both survived. So, what happened? Well, it was a summer time and I went to spend the night at my cousin Shawn’s house. And it was… that’s just what we what we did… and… and… I have a lot of really good experiences from spending the night at his house. So, he was my… he’s on the mother’s side… on my mother’s side of the family and he’s got an older sister, but she wasn’t there at the beginning of the story. Just Shawn and I. And what we’d like to do was go to the river. Well, it was a smaller river everyone called it the creek, creek or creek… So that’s where we would like to go and we would catch crayfish a lot, and look under rocks, and find snakes, and insects, and bring them home. So, anyways, today’s story is not about finding animals and getting hurt by animals. This is something that happened in the house, and it involved fire and explosions.

So, this is what happened: we woke up and we were hungry. I knew that my cousin Shawn was very good in the kitchen. He knew how to make all kinds of dishes. He was good at making eggs… I mean we were ten years old… what does a 10-year-old know what to do with an oven or with the stove? So, he knew his way around the kitchen. He was good in the kitchen, I thought. So, we wanted to make a very—really lovely snack. It’s called pizza bread. Pizza bread is basically… it’s a… you use slices of bread… you put some pizza sauce on it… And you put some cheese and sausage… it’s just like pizza except you use slices of bread instead of making your own crust— instead of making… the… using pizza dough. Yeah. So, um,  I asked him… I said… or I suggested: “hey, let’s make some pizza bread.”

He said, “Oh OK, sure.”

I asked him what we needed to do. And he said, “first let’s make the… let’s prepare the food.”

So, we got the bread ready and put the cheese on… sprinkled the cheese on… and got the sausage… I mean, not sausage… it’s a salami… the pepperoni. Pepperoni. Yeah, that’s what we used. Pepperoni. So, we put the pepperoni slices on, and… but, it was a gas oven… not an electric oven. So, we had to, well let’s see… Let me tell you something about this oven. The oven was broken. It had a broken door, and it didn’t have… you couldn’t just turn it on and there was fire… you had to put fire in it. So, they call that a pilot light. So, just like the airplane pilot—the person who flies the airplane—so, a pilot light inside the oven is just a little fire that’s always there. And, if you want to use the oven you just add more gas. You turn it on and more gas goes into it. But there was no pilot light.

So, Shawn says we needed to light a match. You know, a match. So, we got the matches ready, and we weren’t very good at using matches. So, it took three or four tries to be able to use the matches. There was also a problem with when we were adding the fire… adding the fire from the match… You see, you should… you should add the match with the fire. You should add that first. And then turn on the gas. But Shawn told us to turn on the gas first. So, it took four tries to get the match ready. Right? Four wasted matches, and then finally we could use the fire from the match too light the oven. But there was already too much gas, right? So, the gas had flooded the whole kitchen and I was… So, just imagine: my cousin is holding the kitchen… the kitchen oven… the door to the kitchen oven so he’s holding it so the oven doesn’t fall off. Because, you know it’s an old broken up oven. And he’s holding it open so that I can light the fire… light the oven… And there’s all this gas pouring out of the oven. And then I saw the air was kind of wavy… You know how the air gets when there’s too much gas in the air it just looks like the air is moving.

And then I smelled it. I smelled the gas…

And, I remember saying: “what’s that smell?” And, then suddenly it was like a gigantic mushroom of fire that came at me. BOOM! And for a second I didn’t hear anything, and it was absolutely quiet. And, just nothing. And it was black.

And then I was blinking my eyes. I could finally see. I was standing several feet, maybe 2 meters, back away from the oven. The oven door was open. I heard Bang Bang bang. And that was the sound of the of the door… of the house door slamming shut, because my cousin had run outside. He had run like the wind to escape. So, he must’ve (run) as soon as it exploded. I just didn’t know what happened, and he was already gone. He ran all the way outside and into the backyard. Somehow, I remembered to put the pizza into the oven and set the timer for 10 minutes, and I went out to the backyard. And my cousin was out there crying. And he was just so scared.  

And we went back inside, and we went to the bathroom, and we looked at ourselves in the mirror. And all of our hair was gone…. just… We had no eyebrows… eye lashes… the eyelashes were gone… The hair from inside of our nose was gone… my right arm from, from lighting the oven that was all in the fire, there was no hair on my arm…. there was no hair on my legs either, because I was wearing shorts.

Shawn was just a little bit burned. Some of the hair was singed off. We were OK just a little bit red. We did go to the hospital, and the doctors said we were OK. But jeez… We were red and there was no hair and… and, so my friend—I mean, my cousin—was washing his hand… his arm in the bathroom… in the water crying…

And then I heard it…

DING! The oven was dinging, and the pizza bread was finished, and I brought the pizza bread over. And, I ask Shawn if he wanted some pizza bread and he said, “no…” He was crying.

So, I ate his I ate his pizza bread and mine.

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